Whats on my mind? Hmm, lol

 

 

** A BIG Ty to Donna for the beautiful graphics :)

 

 

Hey every1, hows your week going? I hope good :) Just wanted to drop in for a quick update and to just vent or blab about whatever, lol. Things have been ok so far this week. The weather here in Florida has been beautiful especially the past few days. Right now, i have our patio door open and window in the dining room. its is soo nice to have nice, cool fresh air inside. Plus it saves on the power bill, lol. Anyway, thanks to the great weather we have been outdoors more which is nice. I turned in some jobs app on Monday which was good. I think in total now i have done about 20 of them no lie. Yeah that many and no calls, not one. It has been frustrating and also saddening, lol. I mean yesterday i was in this sad, funk cause of it. Not just that theres more to it. I never felt in a funk like that in so long. I hate feeling this way, i hate feeling so down ur almost getting to being depressed. I worked so hard on not feeling that way or going down that road again ;( But well, i guess we all have our days right, lol. Soo as i was saying, sorry i keep jumping here, lol. Monday was Jays usual day off, so we went to this nice consignment store thats about 10-15 min from our place, dropped, rather sold some of Danielles thing. Things obviously she doesnt use anymore or play with. We are trying to clean things out in her room to have room for Christmas presents. lol, yeah i know i may be jumping ahead but this girl gets gifts, lol. So after we did that with the beautiful weather out, real windy too lately, lol. I love wind but not gusting, lol. We walked around the mall, its actually a huge outdoor strip mall thing. I saw a bunch of Now Hiring signs so i applied i think 4 of them. I still have many more i plan to apply to.

 

 

 

I try to have faith and think well there just taking their time or they wont call till after Halloween. But cant help but get upset many of these places I applied at was weeks ago. I dont get why they are Now Hiring signs up if they dont freakin call you. Grrr, it gets to the pt where i do start to think its me. I mean can u believe many of these places now to me, discriminate because of ur credit? Although i did find out my credit score is zero, lol. I guess better then a real low one. I hope to start over and improve that. i think it could be that jobs wont call me or cause i havent worked in so many yrs. I am really thinking more to thats its because i never held a job more then a yr, lol. I made such dumb decisions before Danielle. I was such a job hopper. I regret that more then anything but i cant change that now. I just pray i get something soon. Even if it s a holiday, just temp, i dont care at this pt. Jason keeps convincing me to work at his place. I want to but then i dont. I guess i am being stubborn and wanting to just get my own work my way and want ppl to call me u know? Ok enough bitching with that, lol. Like i said, its been a great few days. We outdoor shopped on Monday, then yesterday went to the library, to the park and treated ourselves ot a quick bite to eat. Danielle, i think really enjoys this nice cooler weather too. Its been great also since i get to now finally take some walks during the day and get some exercise. Its supposed to warm up a bit again starting tomm then get nice agian this weekend. I guess im crazy about the weather right now, lol. I just love this time of yr.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh in other news, lol good news my mom finally got a job! I think I mentioned ot u all a while back that she was job hunting out trying to find a nursing job agian since she stopped working for my aunt. She finally got hired on Monday and just started tonight. Its at a nice, smaller nursing home, starting pay a lot, lol they matched what she wanted. The only thing that sucks is with nursing homes u have to work holidays and the shift she picked is 3pm to 11pm and every other weekend she has to work. But Im really happy for her that she finally got a job and is back out there. Especially after the injury she had last yr with her arm. If u dont know what i mean, long story and i can explain to u in a email, lol. Every1 else is my family is fine, my brother is doing ok working hard the usual. We are getting ready for Halloween on tuesday. Danielle is going to be a cute Purple flower fairy. Its a beautiful costume. I will make sure to take plenty of pics i promise ;) We may take her to the mall first to get some candy there then go to my mils neighborhood. She lives in a nice area where ppl have money lol. We are thinking though of tagging along with my bro and his kids for trick or treating too. We will see all up in the air now. But at least we have some fun Halloween plans. Although, i wish we could go to a party or throw one, haa. Maybe some other yr. Lets see what else is going on, hmm Jay is doing ok working the usual. He still has his options open for another job. He actually got a call from a place a couple of days ago but he missed the lady cause he was working which sucks. He tried a couple of times to get a hold of her back. Hopefully something will happent here but not giving hopes up. Danielle is doing great. We need to get cracking down and figure out what we are going to do with her and school. I feel terrible she hasnt started anywhere yet. but i do all i

can at home to help her learn things she needs to learn. We just dont have the means ot pay her to go and the programs are a pain and tough to get into. We wont give up though. I know once she will start school she will love it ;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

As i said, i have been in this blah funk. I think a lot of it has to do with the not getting a job thing. Other is i hate to say intimately with Jay. Thats all i will say about that. lol Not that its not great, lol, it is but its not enough, its rare. I know its sad, we were one of the many couples to vow that, Oh there will still be sex after a kid. LOL Well it worked for a while, lol. Its just tough. Tough to get that alone time, i mean quality alone time not just after she goes to bed. Im looking fwd to when we get our tax refund next yr. Our 5 yr wedding anniversary will be in March, i cant believe can u all? So we are thinking of doing something really special. Maybe going to Key Largo or Key west, some romantic alone time. Much needed, lol. The fact of me being in this i want another baby funk its hard too. I know we cant have another child for obvious reasons finacially no way right now. Mainly also cause of my weight. Its hard for me to admit that but true, i wont be able to conceieve unless i work harder on losing some weight. I guess thats what is getting me in this funk too is my body, looks, insecruity. I really want Danielle to have a baby brother or sister ;( I want another baby more then anything. I want one before im 30 otherwise forget it, lol. So I really want to stick myself with the goal, that i can lose some weight. Be healthier so we can try to have another baby. I know Jay wants more kids too. I could go on about this subject so i will stop for now, lol. Ok tired of typing, lol so im wrapping this up, lol. Check out these two pics my mil sent. They were taken last week when we went to the pumpkin patch. Enjoy, ttys,

 

Love u all, Leslie